Stating the bleedin' obvious

Why does there appear to be a presumption that having once been great footballers, players will naturally be able to make a seamless transition from pitch to punditry?

Admittedly, some make the leap into broadcasting effortlessly.  Gary Lineker, for example, has a natural affinity for the camera; his talent as a presenter is wholly apparent.  So too is that of one of his co-presenters on Match of the Day, Alan Hansen, whose analysis of a game is excellent, if not predictable as he routinely assassinates defences that fail to meet the standards he believed he set as a player. In fairness, he was quite handy as a central defender, but his line of banter lacks a little variation.  It'd be lovely if, for a change, a goal was brilliantly crafted by the team that scored it, rather than if being gifted to them as a result of some imagined defensive frailties that the dour Scot has spotted.

That said, Messrs Lineker and Hansen do at least manage to entertain without the need to resort too often to tired clichés, the most ubiquitous being "It was a game of two halves", "At the end of the day, the better team won" or something equally banal from the manager of a team that has just been soundly thrashed uttering the enlightening comment that "We're going to need to tighten up a bit at the back".  Most of these are forgivable, after all, the media is seeking a sound bite from a person whose job it is to mould and shape a winning football team rather than provide BAFTA winning performances for the camera.

Yet when a player is recruited to provide commentary, one would hope that the broadcaster responsible for their employ would find someone who can provide the viewing or listening audience with insights that are drawn from a deep knowledge of the sport that enriches our understanding of the game or the talent that we are watching.

Graham Le Saux's comment on Radio 4 this morning that "... to win the tournament it's vital they [England] get through to the second round" was absolutely correct, but staggeringly obvious.  I'm left scratching my head wondering if there's a possibility of an outsider sneaking World Cup victory by failing to get to the playoffs.  Hell, perhaps even New Zealand could win it this year having failed to qualify for the tournament.  I live in hope.

It all begs the question, why do we have to listen to so many pundits that provide us with words not to illuminate, but with utterances that cause me to reach for the PC to deliver a mild rant?  Pearls of wisdom that engender such behaviour stem from some of the most respected players of their time, who prove, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that being a great footballer does not necessarily lead to skills in oratory.

When reviewing the Premier League table earlier this year, Graham Souness uttered the following profound statement, "It's anybody's guess, but one of the teams in that league will win it". You don't say Graham.  His pronouncement was so astonishingly obvious as to render his co-commentator momentarily speechless as he tried to conjure a response that wouldn't make him sound similarly amoebic.

I was depressed too, to listen to Michael Owen getting highly agitated over a league match between two sides towards the bottom end of the table proclaim, "Both of these sides want to win".  Are you sure Michael? I suspect one of them was desperately trying to gift the game to the opposition so that they might languish at the foot of the table, relishing more than the other side the prospect of relegation.

Thankfully, Graham Le Saux's comments allowed me to appreciate that dodgy punditry isn't limited just to ex-Liverpool players; regrettably, our airwaves are overflowing with former players who probably get taken to the studio by their carers.  With the World Cup a little over a week away, I am tempted to watch with the volume off, lest I find myself mildly vexed at proclamations of the bleedin' obvious.  This however would deprive me of the joy that stems from calling a passage of play identically to that of the commentator or pundit, which leads me momentarily to believe that I may have missed a calling in broadcasting.

Notwithstanding the above, I am greatly looking forward to the tournament, even more so now that I have heard from Graham Le Saux.  I'm going to rush off to the bookmakers now to put a tenner on New Zealand to win.  Stranger things have happened.