Friday 18 October 2019

Don’t trust the technology

We recently signed up to a new gym.  Fancy place, fully digitised and tech heavy.  I have been asked repeatedly whether I wear a pacemaker.  I think that has less to do with my health and more to do with buggering up their electronics.  I suspect if I had one, I’d be encouraged to focus more on the analogue equipment.

One bit of kit that caught my eye was the Boditrax, a glorified set of scales that carries the by-line “beyond body composition”.  I’m not sure what that means; beyond composition suggests decomposition to me and, although I’m not as fit as I’d like to be, I haven’t yet started to rot.

By standing on a platform and gripping its handles, Boditrax magically provides more information than a simple weight measurement.  It provides 14 different metrics including fat and muscle mass, skeletal and abdominal analysis, a physique classification and a metabolic age.

I’m tickled by the physique classification for the highest fat percentage and lowest muscle score.  Boditrax has opted for the politically correct “Hidden Obese”.  I’m not sure where people in that category will be hiding their fat, but it does conjure an image of veins popping from prolonged tummy tensing.  My measure provides me with an “Obesity Warning”, which presumably means that I need to do some exercise or start looking for hiding places.

I did think I was doing a little better than that reading implies, but there is clearly work to be done.  None more so than when it comes to addressing my metabolic age.  Mrs GOM stood on the machine before I did and, coming in at 16 years younger than her actual age, the machine confirmed what we all know, that she is brimming with youth.  By contrast, I am not.  I turn 50 next year, but according to Boditrax, four summers have passed since that mark was achieved, proving categorically, despite Mrs GOM’s assertions to the contrary, that you can’t trust technology.

Maybe the clever people at Boditrax should develop their system to incorporate a maturity index.  On that measure, I’d be sure to come in considerably below my years.

Twitter: @GOMinTraining
Copyright © Craig Brown, 2019
18 October 2019

Friday 4 October 2019

The training is over


Credit: Gary Andrews (@GaryScribbler)
A friend recently remarked that I could perhaps lose the “in Training” element from my GOM in Training sobriquet.  It appears, he suggested, that I am now a fully qualified grumpy old man.  I think he has a point.  When reflecting on my most recent posts, I have become increasingly outraged at the political and social climate within which we live.  I didn’t intend for the GOMIT to become a political commentator; the plan was for something considerably more frivolous and light-hearted.

If my friend is right, and my training is complete, I have discovered that my chosen path is akin to a newly qualified doctor discovering that he or she doesn’t like blood.  I don’t like to be grumpy.  For a start, it’s exhausting.  Summoning the energy to rail at the world exacts a toll on my preferred optimistic state, where I’m much happier to exist.

Over the last week I’ve been quietly mulling what to do.  I could continue to scream into the void at our parlous world or revert to a more genteel form of moaning where daily trivialities, such as the baffling appeal of Snapchat to teenagers, or the growing trend to have jeans hover halfway down the wearer’s arse, assume a far greater magnitude than they should warrant.  These latter subjects provide a much greater opportunity to moan in mystification than in outrage, which is considerably better for mine, and everyone else’s wellbeing.

As well as the mainstream media, much of the grist to my GOM mill derives from Twitter and other forms of social media, where it is possible to find extremes of views which all too frequently lead to a competing vitriol, where it is possible to witness the “good people on both sides” become increasingly hostile toward one another and demonstrate the somewhat less savoury sides to their nature.  I cannot be too critical; I am in no position to cast that first stone.

However, as poisonous as Twitter can be, it also has redemptive voices; users who offer considerably healthier reading.  Moving forward, I am likely to spend a little more time following their tweets than the poison that spews forth from the grubby little thumbs of @realDonaldTrump and others.

Take Gary Andrews (@GaryScribbler) for instance, whose sketch appears at the top of this page (https://twitter.com/GaryScribbler/status/1177345226911944706).  Of that, he wrote:

Tough enough being at a new school without the extra burden of our circumstances - but I do like Lily’s solution. Finding a laugh when things get uncomfortable. It both breaks my heart that she has to go through this and makes it swell with pride at her bravery. #doodleaday.

Nearly 55,000 of us get to share Gary’s daily challenges and triumphs.  We are regularly treated to the unadulterated pride and love he has for his children, but occasionally, he will share poignant moments too, where he opens up to the grief he experiences following the death of his wife.  He’s a hero.

So too is Lin Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel), probably best known as the creative genius behind the musical ‘Hamilton’, who operates at a seemingly inexhaustible pace as he leaps from project to project, whilst managing to tweet some wonderfully positive and often esoteric tweets.  One recently (https://twitter.com/Lin_Manuel/status/1177691534742949893) read simply:

Gmorning.
There’s a lot going on.
Take all the time you need.

It’s advice we could all do well to follow.

If you prefer your positivity in a more surreal form, then I suggest following the watermelon eating Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings).  His punctuation leaves a lot to be desired, but with 2.8 million followers, there are a lot of grammatically tolerant people out there who are treated every few days to a canine insight that will make you smile.  Take this little pearl (https://twitter.com/dog_feelings/status/1158060297044844545)


i know there’s bad in the world. and it would be silly. to pretend it isn’t there. but for now here’s my leash. and a few licks on your hand. to convince you that one day. we will be alright

Even if you don’t like dogs, it’s hard to argue that the dog’s account has a much rosier outlook on life than a huge number of the Twitteratti.

There are other reasons for me to refocus.  There are manuscripts that need some love and a creative canon that deserves nurturing considerably more than my expressions of anger.  I’ll continue to follow the maddening politics that dominate our culture and, no doubt, will periodically spew forth with my unwanted opinions.

In the meantime, however, I’m going to add some life to no one in particular, help a man restore a battered sloop and mull over a coach load of folks on their way to Albuquerque.


Twitter: @GOMinTraining
Copyright © Craig Brown, 2019
4 October 2019

Friday 27 September 2019

Wonder Women


What a week.  It started well.  Greta Thunberg, the 16-year-old climate activist gave both barrels to world leaders at the UN Climate Action Summit.  In an impassioned speech, she called upon those same leaders to do more to address the issues facing our climate and the self-inflicted damage that we are doing to our environment.

Notably in her speech, she highlighted that they “have stolen my dreams and my childhood with [their] empty words.”  She’s right, she should be enjoying a childhood instead of having to implore politicians and businesses to do better, reminding them (and us all) that “we are in the beginning of a mass extinction and all you can talk about is money and fairy tales of eternal economic growth. How dare you.”

How dare you indeed.  President Trump attempted to patronise Thunberg by tweeting “She seems like a very happy young girl looking forward to a bright and wonderful future. So nice to see!”  His infantile attempt to ridicule her was trumped by Thunberg’s response.  She updated her twitter profile to read “A very happy young girl looking forward to a bright and wonderful future.”  Let’s hope she’s right, although I suspect that her childhood is lost to her as she becomes a heroine for our age, as has been evidenced by her profile reverting to the customary reminder of what she’s all about.[1]

On Tuesday, the UK learnt the news that its Government had acted unlawfully in proroguing Parliament.  The ruling was read by Lady Hale, President of the Supreme Court.  A nasty headline over a piece in the Mail Online read, “Ex-barmaid with a spider brooch who spun legal web that snared PM: ANDREW PIERCE on Supreme Court president Lady Hale”.  The headline is contemptible.  I just hope that most of the Mail’s readers will digest the full article, where we learn that Lady Hale read law at Girton College, Cambridge, where she graduated with a starred first; she taught law at Manchester University, and achieved the top results of her year when sitting the Bar exams.  She is a formidable proponent of equality and diversity and when she became a Law Lord, she opted for the motto on her coat of arms of ‘Omnia Feminae Aequissimae’ – ‘Women are equal to everything’.  But that headline … I hope Andrew Pierce has enough morality to be embarrassed and ashamed of it.

Lady Hale’s ruling follows the actions brought by equally inspiring women, Gina Miller and Joanna Cherry QC MP, in defence of this country’s parliamentary democracy.  They’re not only inspiring, but brave.  Gina Miller suffers much hatred on social media, an example of which was from Rhodri Philipps, the fourth Viscount St Davids, who wrote on Facebook that he would put up “£5,000 for the first person to ‘accidentally’ run over this bloody troublesome first-generation immigrant”.  The courts sentenced him to 12 weeks in jail for his abuse of Miller and ordered him to pay her £500 in compensation, unlikely to be enough to pay the weekly cost of the security that she probably needs for her protection.

In May, Joanna Cherry had police protection following abusive messages and death threats on social media.  The reason for this onslaught?  She had the temerity to quiz Twitter and Facebook bosses at Westminster over social media abuse of females.  Being acutely aware of what she was likely to face, she still had the courage to bring her action against the Government.  That takes balls, of which we should be reminded, she has none.

Later that day, news broke in the US that the Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, was launching an impeachment investigation into President’s Trump’s conversation with Ukrainian President, Volodymyr Zelensky, where it is alleged that Trump pressured the Ukrainian to come up with dirt on the business activities in his country of Hunter Biden, the son of former Vice President, Joe Biden.  Beforehand, Trump had suspended $400m in US military aid, purportedly presenting Zelensky with a choice: cough up on Biden or lose the aid.

Pelosi has been a tolerant voice in the calls from Democrats to begin impeachment proceedings against Trump.  Despite being repeatedly abused and harassed online by the President, she has resisted these calls.  Her action on this occasion is measured and considered.  It is also a reflection of her professionalism and dignity that she hasn’t been driven to act sooner out of spite for the man.

These talented and courageous women filled me with hope.  I went to bed on Tuesday night feeling that democracy and the rule of law was beginning to assert itself and that much of what is wrong with the world was being put right.  I should have known better; the shift isn’t remotely seismic.  Depressingly, it’s barely a tremor.

By Wednesday, the patriarchy had reasserted itself.  Having returned to Parliament, we witnessed the Attorney General, Geoffrey Cox; the Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster, Michael Gove; and finally, the Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, collectively pour scorn on the Supreme Court’s judgement, fail to show remorse for misleading Queen and country through the unlawful proroguing of parliament, and inciting further abuse through the use of pejorative language and insults in the House of Commons.

Politicians including Alison McGovern, Paula Sherriff, Anna McMorrin, Caroline Lucas, Karen Buck, Tracy Brabin, Rosie Duffield, Anna Soubry and Janet Daby sought to have the Prime Minister moderate his language so as not to incite more hatred and abuse, with Rosie Duffield reminding him that her colleague, Jo Cox, was violently killed while campaigning with her young family to remain in the EU.  The Prime Minister dismissed all their remarks, referring to Paula Sherriff’s observations as “humbug” and he disgracefully annexed Jo Cox’s memory by suggesting that the best way to honour her would be to get Brexit done.  His responses were incendiary, insensitive and deeply offensive.

Across the pond, meanwhile, Donald Trump resorted to his usual Twitter-fest to spread further hatred and dis-information against the Democrats, the Fake News and others that he despises, and after just 48 short hours, the flicker of hope I felt was replaced with the restoration of the toxic status quo.

There remains some cause for hope.  These powerful women, who are taking a stand against injustice and holding others accountable for their misdeeds, represent another step in the long overdue move towards gender balancing.  Regrettably, it is likely to take decades before the imbalance is addressed, but more will follow and with them, one can yearn for a day when their influence, and the efforts of decent and reasoned men, come together to diminish the toxicity in both our politics and our climate.  Until then, let’s hope the extremists that are exercising control over both today don’t irrevocably destroy what we’ve got.


Twitter: @GOMinTraining
Copyright © Craig Brown, 2019
27 September 2019


[1] @GretaThunberg – 16 year old climate and environmental activist with Asperger’s  Join the global climate strikes on September 27th! #fridaysforfuture

Friday 20 September 2019

What have we come to?


There’s an account on Twitter that recently posted the most horrifying video.  What’s horrifying is that it had to be made at all.  The comments that follow are enough to make you weep, if they haven’t already made you rage beyond belief.


Despite what the NRA and Republican lawmakers would have you believe, proposed laws don’t destroy the protections afforded under the 2nd Amendment of the Constitution.  They are sensible laws that will go some way towards addressing the epidemic of mass-shootings that engulfs the United States today.  No civilian should have any cause to own military grade assault weapons.  Outside of military conflict, I find it difficult to imagine a credible scenario that warrants the use of an assault rifle.

The House of Representatives Judiciary Committee has voted to approve three measures: a ‘red-flag’ bill (a law that permits police or family members to petition a court to order the temporary removal of firearms from a person presenting a danger to themselves or others), a ban on high-capacity magazines, and legislation to prohibit people convicted of violent hate crimes from possessing firearms.

Democratic Senator Chuck Schumer and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi are urging the Senate Majority Leader, Mitch McConnell, to bring background checks to the Senate floor.  They have also written to the President asking him to support universal background checks for all gun sales.

For his part, McConnell has stated in recent weeks that he will not allow a vote on any gun bill until President Trump has indicated what kind of legislation he is willing to sign, adding that he “wants to pass bills that will become law and that any push for gun control without Trump’s backing is theatrics”. 

Trump hasn’t been forthcoming with the details on what will be acceptable.  He has, however, stressed the need to protect gun owner rights.  

It’s time that Trump and McConnell pause in their politics to offer some bi-partisan leadership that begins to address the gun control crisis that exists in the United States today.  America’s children shouldn’t be learning gun drills, surely there are more important things for them to do, like being kids.

Twitter: @GOMinTraining
Copyright © Craig Brown, 2019
20 September 2019

Thursday 12 September 2019

Yellowhammer


Photo credit: Andreas Trepte, www.photo-natur.net
I saw one once, a Yellowhammer.  Beautiful thing; perched on the top of a hedgerow in the rolling hills of north Hampshire.  I was riding my bike, labouring up an incline, and I could see it from about 30 metres away.  It eyed me suspiciously, tilting and twisting its head in small jerky movements, alert to everything around it, discerning any threat that might give it cause to take flight.  It decided I posed no risk, allowing me instead to admire it, a tiny golden bird bringing colour to the dense green foliage on which it sat.  I’m no ornithologist; I needed to refer to Google when I returned home to identify the creature, but I soon found it.  That little bird made a lasting impression on me.  A moment of nature’s glory that I will keep with me forever.

On Wednesday, the government released its controversial report that outlined the reasonable worst-case planning assumptions in the event of a No-deal Brexit, forever defiling the Yellowhammer name.  The name is chosen at random, but I can’t help but feel a twinge of regret for that glorious little bird that I met on a country lane.

Earlier in the week, Parliament voted that the government should publish the Operation Yellowhammer report by Wednesday evening, which in a surprising turn of events from this administration, they did – to an extent.  The motion also directed the Government to release all the documents prepared and submitted to the cabinet or a cabinet committee since 23 July 2019 relating to Operation Yellowhammer, along with the WhatsApp messages and emails involving Boris Johnson's top advisers relating to his decision to suspend Parliament for five weeks.  That deadline has passed and, on that score, the Government has ignored Parliament’s directive.

Earlier in the day, the Business Secretary, Andrea Leadsom said on BBC Breakfast that “I actually do not think that it serves people well to see what is absolutely the worst thing that could happen,” adding that, “… simply putting out there all of the possible permutations of what could happen actually just serves to concern people.”

I think we have a right to be concerned.  There is nothing this government is doing that gives me cause not to be.  Yes, it argues that they are reasonable worst-case assumptions and may not happen.  However reasonable they might be, are there assumptions that are worse, or even un-reasonable, and why can they not be more forthcoming with the steps they are taking to mitigate the risks so that we are comforted?

One could suggest that the Government’s £100 million ‘Get ready for Brexit’ (GRFB) campaign is serving to address those concerns, so I looked online to see how useful it was.  There were many options, and I followed the ones that relate to me.  It provided me with eight tasks that I need to perform, as soon as possible, predominantly based on my plans to travel beyond the UK’s borders.  The guidance provided included:
  • Take out appropriate travel insurance with health cover before travelling to the EU
  • Check a passport for travel to Europe after Brexit
  • Check what you need to do to make sure you can travel through the border of the country you are visiting
  • Check whether your mobile phone company has changed its mobile roaming charges before travelling to the EU
  • Check if you need an International Driving Permit before you drive in the EU, EEA or Switzerland
  • Get motor insurance green cards for your vehicle, caravan or trailer if they're registered in the UK and you'll be driving in the EU or EEA
  • Put a GB sticker on the back of your vehicle if it's registered in the UK, even if your number plate already shows GB with a Euro symbol
  • Check for disruption to your journey before you travel between the UK and the EU - border checks may take longer

To that last point, the Government has usefully added “If you do not allow enough time, you could miss your flight, train or ferry.”  As Craig Revel-Horwood would say “Fab-u-lous.”  I’ve finally found a benefit to Brexit – we Brits will be able to queue for longer.

What the GRFB site unintentionally highlights are some of the things that we will be sacrificing under a No-deal Brexit.  Freedom of movement, European-wide healthcare, free roaming for mobile phone usage and the ease of driving in Europe.

From a business perspective, the requirements for readiness are, understandably, somewhat more complicated.  For the purposes of understanding, my imagined business was a manufacturer of consumer goods.  What the GRFB site revealed is that there will be a mountain of bureaucracy to address in order to comply with a more arduous import and export regime.  Still, I guess that might create more jobs – provided the fall in profits that businesses will experience will allow them to cover the extra overhead.

Notably, the GRFB site fails to provide any advice or communication relating to many of the risks identified in Operation Yellowhammer.  It does tell us, in point 3 of 20 that the French have built their customs infrastructure in readiness for a ‘No-deal’ which may lead to between 50-85% of HGVs crossing the channel not being ready for French customs.  It states that HGVs could be delayed by 1.5-2.5 days before being able to cross the border.  At least we’ll be well into Autumn by then, I wouldn’t want fresh produce to be sitting on the M2 wilting in the blaze of a summer sun.

Point 6 highlights that current flow rates across the channel could be as low as 40% for up to six months, stating that if unmitigated, this will have an impact on the supply of medical supplies and three-quarters of our medicines.  So what?  We’ll stockpile!  The report then states, “Whilst some products can be stockpiled, others cannot due to short shelf lives”, adding for emphasis, that it won’t be practical to stockpile to cover 6 months’ supply.  It goes on to say that we’ll also reduce our ability to prevent and control disease outbreaks, both in humans and animals.

On the upside, the report says that we may not see a shortage in food, although a No-deal Brexit will reduce availability and choice which, according to the report, “will increase price, which could impact vulnerable groups.”

In other good news, “Public water services are likely to remain largely unaffected” with the most significant risk being a failure in the chemical supply chain.  With an absence of hyperbole, the report tells us that if something goes wrong, the effect is likely to be localised and only affect up to “100,000s of people.” So, that’s alright then.

The Government chose to redact point 15 of its report, but in an earlier version leaked to The Times, the corresponding point relates to the impacts felt from UK fuel exports that might lead to the closure of two oil refineries and 2,000 direct job losses.  Subsequent strike action could result in disruptions to fuel availability for 1-2 weeks, which will add to the fuel distribution issues that the previous point in the report highlights.

Most damning of all and, ironically, the shortest point in the report is that “Low income groups will be disproportionately affected by any price rises in food and fuel.”

There’s more in the report: the potential impact on social care, fishing, the Irish border, public disorder, and EU citizenship, amongst others.  It is alarming, and it will be sensationalised by opponents of Brexit to argue the case against a ‘No-deal’.  Rightly so.  The British public was never made aware of these risks during the 2016 referendum campaign, instead fictitious weekly savings of £350 million were highlighted along with the bogus concern of wholesale Turkish immigration.  As a collective, we were woefully misinformed.

What’s astonishing is that, given the considerations in the report, the Government remains so hell-bent on pursuing its course.  Could it be that the potential bonanza that will be enjoyed by the financial elite who support the Conservatives and the Brexit Party (and who have allegedly invested £8.3 billion in shorting the UK economy) and the ‘Anti-tax Avoidance Directive’ which comes into effect on 1 January 2020, and which will deprive them and their businesses of hundreds of millions which should sit in the public purse, may be influencing its decision?

In light of the Yellowhammer report, it’s not right that Brexit should happen under ‘No-deal’, nor in my opinion, any deal.  We’ve had three years of growing awareness of the catastrophic impacts that Brexit will have on the UK’s people and its economy.  An awareness has developed through the painful process of watching our politicians fail to deliver on the promises of the sunny uplands.  With that awareness now embedded in the psyche of the populace, perhaps it’s time to return to the people with the opportunity to have a second, better informed, referendum on whether we should remain in the EU.  Unlike my feathered friend on the climb in Hampshire, if ‘Remain’ was the outcome of a second referendum, then the Government’s Yellowhammer is one that I will happily forget.


Twitter: @GOMinTraining
Copyright © Craig Brown, 2019
12 September 2019

Friday 6 September 2019

Blowing in the wind

This week marked the 80th anniversary of the start of the second world war.  Commemorations took place in Poland and several world leaders attended, including German Chancellor Angela Merkel, French Prime Minister Edouard Philippe, Belgian Prime Minister and President-elect of the European Council, Charles Michel, as well as leaders from Croatia, the Czech Republic, Lithuania, Slovakia, Ukraine and Hungary.  Perhaps understandably, given the issues that he is failing to contend with at home, Boris Johnson did not represent Britain, appointing in his place, the Foreign Secretary, Dominic Raab.

Also missing was Donald Trump; who sent Vice President, Mike Pence as his delegate.  Mr Trump recognised that his domestic priorities should rise to the top of his agenda, in particular, the meetings with his Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) prior to the arrival in the US of Hurricane Dorian, which at the time, was making landfall in the Bahamas where it has caused unprecedented damage and, to date, has cost the lives of 30 people, with hundreds more still missing.

Such was the importance of the meetings to Trump that he skipped out of Camp David (twice) for quick rounds of golf at the Trump National Golf Club, Washington, DC.  We know it was quick because he tweeted as such in an insult directed at Sadique Kahn (sic)[1], London’s Mayor, who dared to criticise his failure to focus fully on Dorian.  In the same Twitter tirade, he also took the opportunity to further criticise Barack Obama’s golfing expeditions, saying, “Me, I run through one of my courses (very inexpensive). President Obama would fly to Hawaii.” 

Really?

According to the website www.trumpgolfcount.com, the sole purpose of which appears to be the tracking of President Trump’s golf excursions, he has cost the US tax-payer approximately $109,000,000 for the 213 visits to golf clubs since his incumbency began.  In fairness, he may only have played golf on 149 of those occasions, so we shouldn’t be too critical, even Presidents need exercise, but according to Forbes magazine, he’s on track to cost the American public over $340 million by the end of his presidency – always assuming he’s not re-elected.  By contrast, in his eight years in office, Obama played 333 rounds.  Trump’s trajectory is between 600 and 800. 

Speaking of trajectories, it appears that Mr Trump might not have been paying too much attention to the FEMA briefing when he wasn’t golfing.  Twice in separate video briefings and once on Twitter he announced that Hurricane Dorian would be hitting Alabama.  Geography is clearly not a strong point, forecasts for the storm’s course show it moving from the Bahamas to the Florida panhandle, before tracing a course that will take it up the Eastern seaboard past Georgia and the Carolinas.  The National Weather Service (NWS) quickly tweeted a retraction.

That was on Sunday, since then Trump has taken not only to Twitter, to suggest there was substance to his messaging, but also gone to the extent of a press briefing that shows him holding a map showing the hurricane’s path.  Quite extraordinarily, the map was doctored with a black Sharpie to circle southern Alabama.  If it wasn’t so pathetic, it would be funny.  What it demonstrates is that Donald Trump is utterly unable to admit an error and he would rather spin a web of falsehoods to disprove his mistake, even if, as some commentators are suggesting, a Federal offence may have occurred by altering Hurricane Dorian's path to validate his claim.  It represents an astonishing piece of disinformation from a man who has the thinnest, thick-skin of any known human.  One wonders how many people in Alabama began making preparations to evacuate. 

Trump’s concern for Hurricane Dorian is rightly placed.  It is a category 5 storm, the highest rating on the Saffir-Simpson scale with sustained winds greater than 157 mph.  His press conference on the matter led him to state that “a Category 5 is something that I don’t know that I’ve ever even heard the term, other than I know it’s there”.  Odd really, it’s the fourth category 5 storm to hit the United States during his presidency after hurricanes Irma (2017), Maria (2017) and Michael (2018).  The clever people at Now This have compiled a much better case for demonstrating his failing memory on the subject.  They’ve also done an excellent job of demonstrating Trump’s limited use of language when describing catastrophic events, “This is a tough hurricane, one of the wettest we’ve ever seen from the standpoint of water” is just one of the pearls he delivered, there are plenty more asinine comments that undermine his boasts of a high IQ.

As a further demonstration of his ineptitude, the Axios website alleges that in a White House briefing on hurricanes, the president suggested detonating a nuclear bomb in the eye of the storm to arrest its progress.  When the naysayers pointed out that dropping a device, that releases radioactive material, into the world’s most effective dispersal system, might not be his cleverest suggestion, Trump resorted to his modus operandi for denial by stating on Twitter that, The story [was] … Just more FAKE NEWS!.  I would like to think that, on this occasion, even he couldn’t be as profoundly stupid as the report suggested and that he has been the victim of a nasty sleight.  Perhaps if he had a reputation for honesty and integrity, I’d be prepared to accept his denial.

Reflecting on my opening point, his behaviour displays enormous contempt for the victims of World War II by fobbing-off his Polish hosts with excuses that will enable him to play golf, but equally, to the American people, by being unable to focus on a potential natural disaster that has caused widespread destruction and heart-breaking loss of life in the Bahamas.

People’s lives matter. 

I don’t begrudge his desire to play a round of golf, but the timing is wholly inappropriate in the face of such a catastrophe.  His ineptitude and disinterest are a danger to his nation.  When Puerto Rico, a US territory, was hit in 2017 by Maria, one of his ‘forgotten’ hurricanes, Donald Trump’s response was glacially slow and totally inadequate.  One of the most profound images of that time showed him contemptuously throwing rolls of kitchen paper out to the Puerto Ricans before him who may have hoped for something a little more useful for managing the disaster, such as the resources to restore power, water and sanitation, rather than a roll of ultra absorbant towel.  Congress authorised $20 billion of recovery funds for national disasters, a fraction of which has been released to Puerto Rico and Trump has now ordered $3.6 billion of those funds, and others allocated to military projects, to be diverted to the building of his wall on the Mexican border.  Worse still, he has tied the further release of funds to efforts to reform the government in Puerto Rico and crackdown on corruption – he doesn’t care for the Puerto Rican people, he’s holding them hostage.

It is fortunate that the agencies within the United States charged with managing preparedness and relief take their responsibility more seriously and exercise more competence, but, as Puerto Rico has demonstrated, they need resources to be effective.  Trump’s lack of understanding, awareness and his disregard for the well-being of others hampers their efforts.  So too does the management of his image, which rather than doing anything to restore his credibility, serves only to highlight that the US people are led by a man who is so self-centred that he cares not a jot for the country that he wishes to make great again.


Twitter: @GOMinTraining
Copyright © Craig Brown, 2019
6 September 2019




[1] He later deleted the original tweet and repeated the insults with the correct spelling of Sadiq Khan, but only once – the second mention of ‘Kahn’ followed a few lines later.

Friday 30 August 2019

Tapping-in to ignorance


The weather on Bank Holiday Monday was glorious.  With little planned for the day, the WhatsApp message from a friend proposing a cycle ride was a welcome suggestion.  Before you conjure the image of a wholesome activity to improve my fitness, allow me to disabuse you.  The bike was merely the chosen mode of transport to the pub of our choice for a splendid lunch in its beer garden.

It was a busy day and the popularity of the place meant that I was at the bar, waiting to be served, for quite some time.  Standing alone, I confess to eavesdropping on the conversation of three locals perched on stools.  Whilst I was tempted, I resisted contributing to their conversation for three primary reasons: 1) I hadn’t been invited, 2) I might have said something to offend, and 3) I’d probably have been punched.  I acknowledge the cowardice in failing to express my opinion; I’m not terribly brave when it comes to confrontation, and I fancied a quiet beer.

In this tumultuous political climate, it was unsurprising that they were talking about Brexit.  Given their chat, I think I can safely assume that they were squarely in the ‘Leave’ camp.  Their conversation revolved around the benefits to Britain that we’ll experience on departure from the EU.  A common tactic for those of us against leaving is to ask those in favour to list the benefits of Brexit and sit back smugly.  ‘Taking back control’ and ‘reclaiming our sovereignty’ are typically tossed back at that point, but the PM’s proroguing of parliament has pulled the proverbial rug from underneath that one.  On Monday, that abuse of our democracy was still a few days away.  However, I suspected that I was about to hear some somewhat different arguments from the stooges before me.  I was not wrong.

I learnt a few surprising ‘facts’, spoken with such a degree of conviction that, to the uninformed, they would appear indisputable.  Did you know, for instance, that the EU prevents the sale of British lamb in Britain?  Out of curiosity, I’ve checked the websites of Tesco, Sainsbury’s, Morrisons, ASDA, and Waitrose.  Guess what?  The Union flag was splattered across their lamb offerings.  I presume we’re still okay, unless I missed a Welsh independence vote and they haven’t updated the image.

I contemplated whether those foreign infiltrators, Aldi and Lidl, might be parochial in their provision of lamb.  Not a bit.  In fact, Lidl usefully pointed out the seasonality of its lamb availability stating, “[our lamb] is seasonally sourced from both the UK and New Zealand, with New Zealand lamb available January to June and British lamb available from July to December.”  In fairness, the woman bemoaning the restriction on British lamb sales also complained that we “had to have New Zealand lamb”.  I mused that a debate on the respective breeding seasons in the northern and southern hemispheres might be a little too deep for someone that has such a misaligned view of reality.

One of the chaps spoke about fishing, delighting that, on 1 November, British waters can be freely plundered by our fisherman.  Whilst unfettered access to British waters may follow a release from negotiated fishing quotas (which may not be the case under a ‘no-deal’ Brexit), British fishermen could find selling their hauls a little more difficult.  Today we can trade tariff-free with our European partners.  If, as our disingenuous Prime Minister would have you believe, things will be much better for Britain once we’re out from under the shackles of the EU, consider that any attempt to sell cod to the EU will attract an immediate 12% tariff.  Let us not forget that fish is wildly available beyond Britain’s coastal waters.  The Europeans will be able to get their tariff-free cod from a considerable number of other fisheries within the EEA. 

A parliamentary research briefing highlights that 70% of the UK’s £1.3 billion of fish exports go to the EU.  That’s £910 million of fish that’s going to cost European buyers £1.02 billion after 31 October 2019[1].  I suspect they’d rather buy from their European brethren than spend an additional £110 million on their fish and chips.  Notwithstanding, if they did take our fish, it’s perishable – it might honk a bit after the predicted delays brought about by greater customs controls.

The third sage was also willing to contribute his mind-numbingly ill-informed wisdom.  Clapping his hands together and rubbing them gleefully, he opined that we’ll all enjoy cheaper holidays.  He didn’t provide any substantiation for this claim, but one should note that on the day of voting in the EU referendum, a pound would buy you a little over €1.30.  When the result was announced on 24 June 2016, the pound lost 5.8% of its value to €1.22.  Oh, how I yearn for those days!  A pound at the current exchange rate will yield you just €1.0954[2]. 

If we allow only for exchange rate differences, a stein of beer in Munich’s Hofbrauhaus, a plate of Jamón ibérico from La Boqueria in Barcelona or a croissant from a Parisian Patisserie is going to cost us Brits nearly 19% more than it did before we voted.  One might argue that our little-Englander would rather not take his holidays in Europe, after all, he voted to leave.  But the damage to our exchange rate isn’t just limited to the Euro.  Since the referendum, the value of the pound has fallen more than 20% against 44 currencies and by between 10% and 20% against a further 69.  Perhaps I’m doing him a disservice.  Maybe he’s considering a trip to North Korea or Sudan.  Things must be cheap there; the pound is up over 80% against their currencies for the same period – I must mention that to Mrs GOM when we plan our next holiday.

Thankfully, I got served before I had to listen to more.  I felt for the barman who couldn’t escape their nonsense.  However, it did make me reflect on where they get their information.  Either, they make it up (which is not entirely implausible) or they are consuming falsehoods and regurgitating them as fact.  One must wonder where the stories come from and why they are so readily digested.  It serves to illustrate that our skewed media and dishonest politicians are feeding willing subjects with toxic stories that go unchallenged and are readily believed. 

The charlatans, racists and bigots that have led us to Brexit have been more sophisticated than those that wish to remain.  They’ve studied their Sun Tzu and Niccolò Machiavelli more closely; they’ve adopted modern technology to fuel the fears and appeal to the prejudices of the impressionable; and they’ve completely outwitted their opponents.  Those that have campaigned against them have failed to exploit new and traditional media channels – one might argue that’s because they’ve chosen to solicit votes lawfully.  How silly of them.

Our country is divided, and we are led by a Pied Piper of a Prime Minister who is willing to let us drown for his aggrandisement.  He, and others of his ilk, have used nefarious techniques to influence a sufficient proportion (27%) of the UK population to take all 65 million of us, lemming-like, to a cliff[3].  I fear, we’re about to step off, but when we do, I suspect a good proportion of those going over the edge will believe that there will be a giant inflatable filled with the dreamy hot air of our bloviating politicians that will cushion the fall.


Twitter: @GOMinTraining
Copyright © Craig Brown, 2019
30 August 2019


[1] Tariffs vary by species but, in the interests of simplicity, indulge me.  A simplified table of tariffs can be found here.
[2] Source: www.xe.com.  Exchange rates prior to 29 August are mid-market rates on the dates recorded.  Rates for 29 August 2019 taken at 13:22 UTC
[3] … and before you say it, I know lemmings don’t do that.

Friday 23 August 2019

Say it today


On Wednesday, we learnt the terrible news that the father of a friend of ours had died unexpectedly.  He and his family had gathered in the UK to celebrate his 75th birthday.  Instead of their planned celebrations, they are mourning his loss.

His passing speaks of the fragility of the human condition.  We are time-limited; we don’t know how long we have.  Ill health can point to the end of our days, as it did for my mother and sister, who both developed cancer at an early age; we could see them diminish before us and we knew that they had little time left.

However, when sudden death presents itself, as it did with my father, who died when I was 13, the event is, arguably, more seismic.  There is no time to prepare, acceptance is harder and, whilst the sense of loss is the same, the feeling of being cheated is far greater.

Sudden deaths happen and, by default, we lack preparedness.  When it occurs, there is little that we can do.  The shock is often acute, even now, 36 years on from the day my father died, I have the clearest of memories of my mother’s words as she sat on the tailgate of an ambulance, hugging me.  “He’s gone,” she said.
An hour before, I’d been watching him play football.

When someone dies suddenly, we may miss the opportunity to share, to love, to reconcile; the chance to say whatever it is that we need to say to each other.  That can lead to feelings of guilt that may make the loss a more difficult and painful experience.  When that happens, we must hope that, in time, the memory of our loved one will bring a smile to our face rather than tears to our eyes.

I’m blessed, to have people around me who I love.  Sometimes, though, that wonderful truth is neglected.  So, if you’ll forgive me, I’ll end this week’s passage here.  I’m not planning to leave this life anytime soon, but I’m going to make a small, simple preparation, just in case.  I urge you to pop down your phone and do the same.

I’m off to tell my family I love them.  I know they know it, but, sometimes, it’s best to hear it from me.


Twitter: @GOMinTraining
Copyright © Craig Brown, 2019
23 August 2019

Postscript:
When my mother died in 2004, I wrote a memoir to help me with my grief.  It's available in paperback or on Kindle by following the links.

Friday 16 August 2019

I still don’t know the answers


Yesterday was A-level results day, a day that creates almost universal anxiety followed by a range of emotions from great joy to overwhelming despair.

In a leak on Wednesday relating to grade boundaries, we learnt that to earn an ‘A’ in Maths, a student would only have to achieve a mark of 55%.  On first blush, to old duffers like me, that suggests that the examiners are going soft on students, making it easy to get great results.  It made me reflect on the 40% that I got for History in my University Bursary[1] exam in 1987.  By the standards of the day, I failed; translated to modern times, that might have been a B.

The reality is somewhat different.  My fail mark was thoroughly deserved.  Asking my friend Sally, on the day before the exam, to provide me with a summary of English History from 1558 to 1688 because I hadn’t bothered to read the text, might not have been the greatest strategy for passing.  It proved not to be, and not because Sally didn’t do a decent job – she was, after all, dealing with an idiot.

No, what the grade boundaries reflect is that this year’s Maths exam was really hard.  The BBC suggested that there was a new, tougher specification this year .  A friend’s son achieved the A* that he needed to be accepted to read Maths at University.  That meant he passed the paper with a result exceeding the overall Maths A* boundary of 72.3%.  When I sat my Maths exam, with a result of 74%, I was awarded a B.

Times have changed, grade boundaries are adjusted to reflect the body of results that are achieved by students across the country – it doesn’t mean that students are less bright than in our day (clearly not in my case) or that standards have diminished.  What it does mean, is that the grades awarded are a reflection of overall national performance. 

However, that does imply that comparisons of results from one year to the next are somewhat meaningless, given that there is an active focus from exam boards and regulators to maintain standards through the management of grade boundaries – at 97.6%, the overall pass rate in England, Wales and Northern Ireland was the same as 2018.  In an exam year where a grade C in Maths could be achieved with a result of 34.3% and a pass mark, an E, with just 14.3%, there is something clearly wrong with the level of difficulty in the paper.

Which leads me to the most troubling aspect of today’s system.  I vividly recall Son of GOM returning home from an exam during his A-level year, distraught at the difficulty of the paper.  No words of comfort from Mrs GOM or I could mollify him.  He carried a feeling of failure throughout the summer holidays, only to have it dispelled when the results came through and he achieved a better result than he’d feared.

By setting the difficulty of the papers too high, we risk disrupting the mental health of our children.  They are already driven to a performance expectation set by schools that reflects pressures from central government to achieve unsustainable improvements year-on-year.  As parents, we are also subject to influences that lead us to exacerbate the issue for our children, leading to a situation where, for some, the perception that any result below an A is poor.  Mrs GOM reminds me that, in her day, a B was considered to be a great result, and an A was outstanding.

This shift in mindset has led to a situation where students may be profoundly disappointed with the results that they have achieved.  The daughter of another friend achieved results for her A-level exams of A, B, B; better than required for her to pursue her chosen tertiary course, and results that we should celebrate.  Yet because of the pressures she felt, some self-imposed, she is unable to take satisfaction from what she has achieved.  That may change after a few days of reflection.  I hope it does, she’s done fabulously well.

Sadly, my father-in-law is no longer with us, but as the epitome of a GOM, he would bemoan the systems we have in place today, arguing that we make it too easy for teenagers today.  He would consider that a bone-idle historian, such as myself, should get everything that he deserves, and he’d be right.  But he would also disregard all argument to the contrary, despite having two daughters who work in education, who would seek to convince him that we’ve come a long way in improving today’s methods of teaching.

Despite being a GOM, he was a gentle soul, and whilst he’d probably argue (because he could) against the notion that today’s young people face pressures that we never experienced (albeit, he was fighting in WWII at the age of 18, so he’d have a strong point), he’d possibly have some sympathy for today’s youngsters.  The influences that they face are considerably greater and more widespread than we, as parents, probably realise.

As a collective, the government, educators and parents have a duty of care to ensure that we do what we can to reduce the mental health risks to our children by not laying a foundation for perceived failure.  I’m no authority – I didn’t have the answers in 1987 and I can’t pretend to have them now.  But what I do know, is that we should do better for our kids.


Twitter: @GOMinTraining
Copyright © Craig Brown, 2019
16 August 2019


[1] University Bursary was New Zealand’s equivalent to England’s A-level exam in 1987

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