A day for reflection

Today's a quiet day for me, one where I contemplate the past.

Were they still alive, my parents would be celebrating their 64th wedding anniversary today, but we lost them too soon.  My father died, aged 49, in 1983 and my mother passed in 2004 shortly after her 66th birthday.  I don't mention that to garner sympathy, merely as an observation of one of life's inevitabilities.

I could be disingenuous and pretend the cliché that not a day goes by that I don’t think of them. Whilst I might like that to be true, it simply isn't.  When I do think of them, which is often, I feel a depth of loss which I suspect is shared by those who have said goodbye too early to those that they love.

I believe I cope reasonably well with grief.  I'm not one to bottle my emotions; I don't see any weakness in a man crying.  Hugs possess magic in both the giving and receiving; there is a power in sharing one's feelings.

To help me cope, I often pick up a pen, writing with an intensity that I don't experience in my day-to-day endeavours.  What emerges is much more raw and sometimes difficult to digest.  After my mother's death, I spent a ten-day period drafting what has now become a short memoir.

In 2009, it was my first effort at self-publishing.  I sold about nine copies, five of them to myself.  I'm not sure there was (or is) a market for what I had to say then, just as there may not be now.

That said, my daughter recently read what I wrote and reminded me that I'd written a lovely piece.  It's intensely personal, but it is a story that I'm willing to share in the hope, which may be misguided, that it might provide comfort to a reader that feels the need for a literary hug.

Together Again is the briefest of portraits into the experience I had at the time of my mother’s passing.  It explores her battle with cancer and the helplessness we felt.  It journeys through our despair, our shared laughter and hope, and when the inevitable arrived, the love that engulfed us.

This isn't for everyone, it's not even a pitch to encourage you to read it.  But if you, or someone you know is struggling with grief, it may help you to know that you're not alone.

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Craig Brown is an author living in Newbury.  To follow his work visit craigbrownauthor.com

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3 December 2024