Attempting the impossible

Happy New Year.  I’m a couple of weeks late, but as these are the GOM in Training’s first mutterings of 2020, I’m sticking that out there.

Given the turning of the year, I’ve come up with a couple of resolutions which, as of today, I’m almost managing to keep.  They’re different to anything I’ve proposed before.  The first, which is NOT to interfere with other folk’s barbecues, saw some early challenges in the first three days of the year.  These were spent in New Zealand, where a barbecue occurred on each of those days.  I left Anthony, Bella and JP, and Mike to do their thing.  Each was superb: Ant’s effort, unencumbered by my contribution, was excellent.  I allowed the view over the Orewa River and out into the Hauraki Gulf to distract me whilst he grilled a feast.  That same Gulf, but from a different perspective on Waiheke Island, distracted me again as Bella’s butter and thyme drenched Pipis opened in all their gloriousness on the hotplate, a perfect starter to precede her Dad’s effort, JP demonstrating expertise of his own.  Back on the mainland, Mike’s swift breakfast barbie the following morning served as our final treat before heading back to Blighty.

Here in the northern hemisphere, winter has us in its grip; outdoor cooking opportunities are rare, but this Saturday, a friend’s firing up his Weber as part of his wife’s birthday celebrations.  He’s English, so could probably do with some help, but I’ll resist.  He has shown reasonable form when turning a snag, so I’ll let him have his tongs.  If I budge in, it may engender foul language; he’s a man of the cloth so it wouldn’t do to put temptation in his path.

My other resolution is proving to be a mite more challenging.  “Be more like Ange” was my declaration on the eve of the New Year.  It’s a tall order.

I would suggest that Ange is like a whirling dervish, however, that would imply some form of chaos in her wake.  Not with her, quite the opposite, she’s a tornado of tidy.  When she flies around the house, order follows; it’s extraordinary.

I first noticed this on a visit to spend time with her and her husband, Shane, when they lived in Queenstown.  Queenstown’s a tourist mecca, there’s something for everyone, a discovery I made at the local tourist office as I garnered armfuls of brochures.  My plan was to review them when I returned to their house.  When I did, I popped them on the coffee table whilst I went to the loo.  Ange returned from work whilst I was out of the room, and when I got back, the brochures had vanished.  I momentarily questioned my sanity, then asked the obvious question.  “I’ve tidied them away,” she replied.  “Oh,” was all I managed.  I hadn’t realised they needed tidying.

On a subsequent visit for their wedding, we blokes; Shane, his best man, Dave, and I participated in the preparations by sitting down for an afternoon in front of the TV to watch the cricket.  The coffee table that had once briefly hosted a range of extreme activity brochures now supported our beers, each perched on the centre of a coaster, three corners of the table occupied.  In the fourth corner, an empty coaster sat, perfectly square to the sides of the table.  Ange, slightly more engaged in the wedding preparations than we were, fizzed around the house undertaking a variety of tasks.  “Watch this,” said Shane in a moment when she was out of the room.  He subtly shifted the fourth coaster, turning it so that it was no longer square.  The next time Ange whizzed by, she realigned it to the table without pausing as she passed.  “You do it,” said Shane when she was out of earshot, encouraging Dave.  He duly obliged.  So did Ange, once more restoring order on her next pass.
  “Your turn,” said Dave, drawing me into the plot.  I childishly participated, bolstered by Heineken-fuelled courage.  Ange, armed with freshly delivered flowers for the following day’s nuptials, straightened the coaster as she flew by again.  Shane rose to the challenge she’d unwittingly set, daring to move it a fourth time.
On her next approach she paused, hands on hips, glaring.  “I know what you’re doing,” she said.  “Leave it alone.”  Chastened, we complied.

This December we had the opportunity to spend more time with our friends and rather than disrupting the interior design through misappropriation of coasters, I chose instead to observe Ange in action.  Her tidying is immediate and breathtakingly swift.  I swear, if I’d chomped into a biscuit and an errant crumb were to break loose, she’d dispose of it before it hit the floor.  She’s a marvel.

So, my resolution, to be more like Ange, is an attempt to introduce a little more tidiness into my doings.  Mrs GOM is rightly sceptical, she’s experienced 25 years of the antithesis, so perhaps has justified reasons for doubt, but I have set off with aspirations.  From the centre of the kitchen, there is a four-foot radius where I’ve focused my attention.  Surfaces get wiped, dishes get washed and my usually chaotic efforts in meal preparation have a degree of order to them that was hitherto unknown.  It’s exhausting and I’m not sure the heightened activity will extend beyond its current scope.  That might demand attention in another room, the one to where I’ve been throwing the stuff from the kitchen.

I’m also trying to follow the example of immediacy and pace, but that’s possibly beyond my capability.  My frantic efforts create more mess than order; water is sloshed over work surfaces, discarded waste misses the bin and there is a real danger that crockery will meet an untimely demise, all of which creates additional work.  I’m not sure that Mrs GOM is impressed with my attempts, however, she’s welcoming the improvement, however mild.

I’ve tried to encourage Daughter of GOM (DofG) to join me on the crusade, however she’s too busy to participate, preferring instead not to empty her suitcase from the holiday.  Mrs GOM would argue that if ever there was evidence in favour of nature in the ‘nature versus nurture’ debate, when it comes to tidiness, DofG provides it; until that is, one considers that I’m her father.

Mrs GOM persists with her patience.  Mine, however, is being tested.  Dog of GOM (DoG), not to be confused with DofG, is not playing ball.  Or rather she is, discarding them, along with other remnants of her play and snacking about the house.  Ange’s dog knows better than to leave a toy discarded in a corner – it may never reappear. DoG, on the other hand, has taken to mass disruption, leaving bits all over the place in an effort to undermine my declaration and overwhelm me into submission.  I’m not giving up though, I’m going to convince DoG to join the effort and adopt more appropriate behaviour.  She’s bound to be easier to train than DofG.  That said, as I write, I can hear DoG shredding an envelope that she has purloined from the recycling bin beneath my desk.  My failure to notice this egregious act may illustrate that my resolutions are doomed to failure.

Maybe I will dig out my tongs for the forthcoming weekend, you know, just to spare the Englishman his blushes.


Twitter: @GOMinTraining
Copyright © Craig Brown, 2020
17 January 2020

Don’t trust the technology

We recently signed up to a new gym.  Fancy place, fully digitised and tech heavy.  I have been asked repeatedly whether I wear a pacemaker.  I think that has less to do with my health and more to do with buggering up their electronics.  I suspect if I had one, I’d be encouraged to focus more on the analogue equipment.

One bit of kit that caught my eye was the Boditrax, a glorified set of scales that carries the by-line “beyond body composition”.  I’m not sure what that means; beyond composition suggests decomposition to me and, although I’m not as fit as I’d like to be, I haven’t yet started to rot.

By standing on a platform and gripping its handles, Boditrax magically provides more information than a simple weight measurement.  It provides 14 different metrics including fat and muscle mass, skeletal and abdominal analysis, a physique classification and a metabolic age.

I’m tickled by the physique classification for the highest fat percentage and lowest muscle score.  Boditrax has opted for the politically correct “Hidden Obese”.  I’m not sure where people in that category will be hiding their fat, but it does conjure an image of veins popping from prolonged tummy tensing.  My measure provides me with an “Obesity Warning”, which presumably means that I need to do some exercise or start looking for hiding places.

I did think I was doing a little better than that reading implies, but there is clearly work to be done.  None more so than when it comes to addressing my metabolic age.  Mrs GOM stood on the machine before I did and, coming in at 16 years younger than her actual age, the machine confirmed what we all know, that she is brimming with youth.  By contrast, I am not.  I turn 50 next year, but according to Boditrax, four summers have passed since that mark was achieved, proving categorically, despite Mrs GOM’s assertions to the contrary, that you can’t trust technology.

Maybe the clever people at Boditrax should develop their system to incorporate a maturity index.  On that measure, I’d be sure to come in considerably below my years.

Twitter: @GOMinTraining
Copyright © Craig Brown, 2019
18 October 2019

The training is over

Credit: Gary Andrews (@GaryScribbler)

A friend recently remarked that I could perhaps lose the “in Training” element from my GOM in Training sobriquet.  It appears, he suggested, that I am now a fully qualified grumpy old man.  I think he has a point.  When reflecting on my most recent posts, I have become increasingly outraged at the political and social climate within which we live.  I didn’t intend for the GOMIT to become a political commentator; the plan was for something considerably more frivolous and light-hearted.

If my friend is right, and my training is complete, I have discovered that my chosen path is akin to a newly qualified doctor discovering that he or she doesn’t like blood.  I don’t like to be grumpy.  For a start, it’s exhausting.  Summoning the energy to rail at the world exacts a toll on my preferred optimistic state, where I’m much happier to exist.

Over the last week I’ve been quietly mulling what to do.  I could continue to scream into the void at our parlous world or revert to a more genteel form of moaning where daily trivialities, such as the baffling appeal of Snapchat to teenagers, or the growing trend to have jeans hover halfway down the wearer’s arse, assume a far greater magnitude than they should warrant.  These latter subjects provide a much greater opportunity to moan in mystification than in outrage, which is considerably better for mine, and everyone else’s wellbeing.

As well as the mainstream media, much of the grist to my GOM mill derives from Twitter and other forms of social media, where it is possible to find extremes of views which all too frequently lead to a competing vitriol, where it is possible to witness the “good people on both sides” become increasingly hostile toward one another and demonstrate the somewhat less savoury sides to their nature.  I cannot be too critical; I am in no position to cast that first stone.

However, as poisonous as Twitter can be, it also has redemptive voices; users who offer considerably healthier reading.  Moving forward, I am likely to spend a little more time following their tweets than the poison that spews forth from the grubby little thumbs of @realDonaldTrump and others.

Take Gary Andrews (@GaryScribbler) for instance, whose sketch appears at the top of this page (https://twitter.com/GaryScribbler/status/1177345226911944706).  Of that, he wrote:

Tough enough being at a new school without the extra burden of our circumstances - but I do like Lily’s solution. Finding a laugh when things get uncomfortable. It both breaks my heart that she has to go through this and makes it swell with pride at her bravery. #doodleaday.

Nearly 55,000 of us get to share Gary’s daily challenges and triumphs.  We are regularly treated to the unadulterated pride and love he has for his children, but occasionally, he will share poignant moments too, where he opens up to the grief he experiences following the death of his wife.  He’s a hero.

So too is Lin Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel), probably best known as the creative genius behind the musical ‘Hamilton’, who operates at a seemingly inexhaustible pace as he leaps from project to project, whilst managing to tweet some wonderfully positive and often esoteric tweets.  One recently (https://twitter.com/Lin_Manuel/status/1177691534742949893) read simply:

Gmorning.

There’s a lot going on.

Take all the time you need.

It’s advice we could all do well to follow.

If you prefer your positivity in a more surreal form, then I suggest following the watermelon eating Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings).  His punctuation leaves a lot to be desired, but with 2.8 million followers, there are a lot of grammatically tolerant people out there who are treated every few days to a canine insight that will make you smile.  Take this little pearl (https://twitter.com/dog_feelings/status/1158060297044844545)

i know there’s bad in the world. and it would be silly. to pretend it isn’t there. but for now here’s my leash. and a few licks on your hand. to convince you that one day. we will be alright

Even if you don’t like dogs, it’s hard to argue that the dog’s account has a much rosier outlook on life than a huge number of the Twitteratti.

There are other reasons for me to refocus.  There are manuscripts that need some love and a creative canon that deserves nurturing considerably more than my expressions of anger.  I’ll continue to follow the maddening politics that dominate our culture and, no doubt, will periodically spew forth with my unwanted opinions.

In the meantime, however, I’m going to add some life to no one in particular, help a man restore a battered sloop and mull over a coach load of folks on their way to Albuquerque.

Twitter: @GOMinTraining
Copyright © Craig Brown, 2019
4 October 2019

Wonder Women

What a week.  It started well.  Greta Thunberg, the 16-year-old climate activist gave both barrels to world leaders at the UN Climate Action Summit.  In an impassioned speech, she called upon those same leaders to do more to address the issues facing our climate and the self-inflicted damage that we are doing to our environment.

Notably in her speech, she highlighted that they “have stolen my dreams and my childhood with [their] empty words.”  She’s right, she should be enjoying a childhood instead of having to implore politicians and businesses to do better, reminding them (and us all) that “we are in the beginning of a mass extinction and all you can talk about is money and fairy tales of eternal economic growth. How dare you.”

How dare you indeed.  President Trump attempted to patronise Thunberg by tweeting “She seems like a very happy young girl looking forward to a bright and wonderful future. So nice to see!”  His infantile attempt to ridicule her was trumped by Thunberg’s response.  She updated her twitter profile to read “A very happy young girl looking forward to a bright and wonderful future.”  Let’s hope she’s right, although I suspect that her childhood is lost to her as she becomes a heroine for our age, as has been evidenced by her profile reverting to the customary reminder of what she’s all about.[1]

On Tuesday, the UK learnt the news that its Government had acted unlawfully in proroguing Parliament.  The ruling was read by Lady Hale, President of the Supreme Court.  A nasty headline over a piece in the Mail Online read, “Ex-barmaid with a spider brooch who spun legal web that snared PM: ANDREW PIERCE on Supreme Court president Lady Hale”.  The headline is contemptible.  I just hope that most of the Mail’s readers will digest the full article, where we learn that Lady Hale read law at Girton College, Cambridge, where she graduated with a starred first; she taught law at Manchester University, and achieved the top results of her year when sitting the Bar exams.  She is a formidable proponent of equality and diversity and when she became a Law Lord, she opted for the motto on her coat of arms of ‘Omnia Feminae Aequissimae’ – ‘Women are equal to everything’.  But that headline … I hope Andrew Pierce has enough morality to be embarrassed and ashamed of it.

Lady Hale’s ruling follows the actions brought by equally inspiring women, Gina Miller and Joanna Cherry QC MP, in defence of this country’s parliamentary democracy.  They’re not only inspiring, but brave.  Gina Miller suffers much hatred on social media, an example of which was from Rhodri Philipps, the fourth Viscount St Davids, who wrote on Facebook that he would put up “£5,000 for the first person to ‘accidentally’ run over this bloody troublesome first-generation immigrant”.  The courts sentenced him to 12 weeks in jail for his abuse of Miller and ordered him to pay her £500 in compensation, unlikely to be enough to pay the weekly cost of the security that she probably needs for her protection.

In May, Joanna Cherry had police protection following abusive messages and death threats on social media.  The reason for this onslaught?  She had the temerity to quiz Twitter and Facebook bosses at Westminster over social media abuse of females.  Being acutely aware of what she was likely to face, she still had the courage to bring her action against the Government.  That takes balls, of which we should be reminded, she has none.

Later that day, news broke in the US that the Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, was launching an impeachment investigation into President’s Trump’s conversation with Ukrainian President, Volodymyr Zelensky, where it is alleged that Trump pressured the Ukrainian to come up with dirt on the business activities in his country of Hunter Biden, the son of former Vice President, Joe Biden.  Beforehand, Trump had suspended $400m in US military aid, purportedly presenting Zelensky with a choice: cough up on Biden or lose the aid.

Pelosi has been a tolerant voice in the calls from Democrats to begin impeachment proceedings against Trump.  Despite being repeatedly abused and harassed online by the President, she has resisted these calls.  Her action on this occasion is measured and considered.  It is also a reflection of her professionalism and dignity that she hasn’t been driven to act sooner out of spite for the man.

These talented and courageous women filled me with hope.  I went to bed on Tuesday night feeling that democracy and the rule of law was beginning to assert itself and that much of what is wrong with the world was being put right.  I should have known better; the shift isn’t remotely seismic.  Depressingly, it’s barely a tremor.

By Wednesday, the patriarchy had reasserted itself.  Having returned to Parliament, we witnessed the Attorney General, Geoffrey Cox; the Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster, Michael Gove; and finally, the Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, collectively pour scorn on the Supreme Court’s judgement, fail to show remorse for misleading Queen and country through the unlawful proroguing of parliament, and inciting further abuse through the use of pejorative language and insults in the House of Commons.

Politicians including Alison McGovern, Paula Sherriff, Anna McMorrin, Caroline Lucas, Karen Buck, Tracy Brabin, Rosie Duffield, Anna Soubry and Janet Daby sought to have the Prime Minister moderate his language so as not to incite more hatred and abuse, with Rosie Duffield reminding him that her colleague, Jo Cox, was violently killed while campaigning with her young family to remain in the EU.  The Prime Minister dismissed all their remarks, referring to Paula Sherriff’s observations as “humbug” and he disgracefully annexed Jo Cox’s memory by suggesting that the best way to honour her would be to get Brexit done.  His responses were incendiary, insensitive and deeply offensive.

Across the pond, meanwhile, Donald Trump resorted to his usual Twitter-fest to spread further hatred and dis-information against the Democrats, the Fake News and others that he despises, and after just 48 short hours, the flicker of hope I felt was replaced with the restoration of the toxic status quo.

There remains some cause for hope.  These powerful women, who are taking a stand against injustice and holding others accountable for their misdeeds, represent another step in the long overdue move towards gender balancing.  Regrettably, it is likely to take decades before the imbalance is addressed, but more will follow and with them, one can yearn for a day when their influence, and the efforts of decent and reasoned men, come together to diminish the toxicity in both our politics and our climate.  Until then, let’s hope the extremists that are exercising control over both today don’t irrevocably destroy what we’ve got.

Twitter: @GOMinTraining
Copyright © Craig Brown, 2019
27 September 2019

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[1] @GretaThunberg – 16 year old climate and environmental activist with Asperger’s  Join the global climate strikes on September 27th! #fridaysforfuture

What have we come to?

There’s an account on Twitter that recently posted the most horrifying video.  What’s horrifying is that it had to be made at all.  The comments that follow are enough to make you weep, if they haven’t already made you rage beyond belief.

You can find it here https://twitter.com/sandyhook/status/1174291982857883653

Despite what the NRA and Republican lawmakers would have you believe, proposed laws don’t destroy the protections afforded under the 2^nd Amendment of the Constitution.  They are sensible laws that will go some way towards addressing the epidemic of mass-shootings that engulfs the United States today.  No civilian should have any cause to own military grade assault weapons.  Outside of military conflict, I find it difficult to imagine a credible scenario that warrants the use of an assault rifle.

The House of Representatives Judiciary Committee has voted to approve three measures: a ‘red-flag’ bill (a law that permits police or family members to petition a court to order the temporary removal of firearms from a person presenting a danger to themselves or others), a ban on high-capacity magazines, and legislation to prohibit people convicted of violent hate crimes from possessing firearms.

Democratic Senator Chuck Schumer and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi are urging the Senate Majority Leader, Mitch McConnell, to bring background checks to the Senate floor.  They have also written to the President asking him to support universal background checks for all gun sales.

For his part, McConnell has stated in recent weeks that he will not allow a vote on any gun bill until President Trump has indicated what kind of legislation he is willing to sign, adding that he “wants to pass bills that will become law and that any push for gun control without Trump’s backing is theatrics”. 

Trump hasn’t been forthcoming with the details on what will be acceptable.  He has, however, stressed the need to protect gun owner rights.  

It’s time that Trump and McConnell pause in their politics to offer some bi-partisan leadership that begins to address the gun control crisis that exists in the United States today.  America’s children shouldn’t be learning gun drills, surely there are more important things for them to do, like being kids.

Twitter: @GOMinTraining
Copyright © Craig Brown, 2019
20 September 2019

Yellowhammer

Photo credit: Andreas Trepte, www.photo-natur.net

I saw one once, a Yellowhammer.  Beautiful thing; perched on the top of a hedgerow in the rolling hills of north Hampshire.  I was riding my bike, labouring up an incline, and I could see it from about 30 metres away.  It eyed me suspiciously, tilting and twisting its head in small jerky movements, alert to everything around it, discerning any threat that might give it cause to take flight.  It decided I posed no risk, allowing me instead to admire it, a tiny golden bird bringing colour to the dense green foliage on which it sat.  I’m no ornithologist; I needed to refer to Google when I returned home to identify the creature, but I soon found it.  That little bird made a lasting impression on me.  A moment of nature’s glory that I will keep with me forever.

On Wednesday, the government released its controversial report that outlined the reasonable worst-case planning assumptions in the event of a No-deal Brexit, forever defiling the Yellowhammer name.  The name is chosen at random, but I can’t help but feel a twinge of regret for that glorious little bird that I met on a country lane.

Earlier in the week, Parliament voted that the government should publish the Operation Yellowhammer report by Wednesday evening, which in a surprising turn of events from this administration, they did – to an extent.  The motion also directed the Government to release all the documents prepared and submitted to the cabinet or a cabinet committee since 23 July 2019 relating to Operation Yellowhammer, along with the WhatsApp messages and emails involving Boris Johnson's top advisers relating to his decision to suspend Parliament for five weeks.  That deadline has passed and, on that score, the Government has ignored Parliament’s directive.

Earlier in the day, the Business Secretary, Andrea Leadsom said on BBC Breakfast that “I actually do not think that it serves people well to see what is absolutely the worst thing that could happen,” adding that, “… simply putting out there all of the possible permutations of what could happen actually just serves to concern people.”

I think we have a right to be concerned.  There is nothing this government is doing that gives me cause not to be.  Yes, it argues that they are reasonable worst-case assumptions and may not happen.  However reasonable they might be, are there assumptions that are worse, or even un-reasonable, and why can they not be more forthcoming with the steps they are taking to mitigate the risks so that we are comforted?

One could suggest that the Government’s £100 million ‘Get ready for Brexit’ (GRFB) campaign is serving to address those concerns, so I looked online to see how useful it was.  There were many options, and I followed the ones that relate to me.  It provided me with eight tasks that I need to perform, as soon as possible, predominantly based on my plans to travel beyond the UK’s borders.  The guidance provided included:

• Take out appropriate travel insurance with health cover before travelling to the EU
• Check a passport for travel to Europe after Brexit
• Check what you need to do to make sure you can travel through the border of the country you are visiting
• Check whether your mobile phone company has changed its mobile roaming charges before travelling to the EU
• Check if you need an International Driving Permit before you drive in the EU, EEA or Switzerland
• Get motor insurance green cards for your vehicle, caravan or trailer if they're registered in the UK and you'll be driving in the EU or EEA
• Put a GB sticker on the back of your vehicle if it's registered in the UK, even if your number plate already shows GB with a Euro symbol
• Check for disruption to your journey before you travel between the UK and the EU - border checks may take longer

To that last point, the Government has usefully added “If you do not allow enough time, you could miss your flight, train or ferry.”  As Craig Revel-Horwood would say “Fab-u-lous.”  I’ve finally found a benefit to Brexit – we Brits will be able to queue for longer.

What the GRFB site unintentionally highlights are some of the things that we will be sacrificing under a No-deal Brexit.  Freedom of movement, European-wide healthcare, free roaming for mobile phone usage and the ease of driving in Europe.

From a business perspective, the requirements for readiness are, understandably, somewhat more complicated.  For the purposes of understanding, my imagined business was a manufacturer of consumer goods.  What the GRFB site revealed is that there will be a mountain of bureaucracy to address in order to comply with a more arduous import and export regime.  Still, I guess that might create more jobs – provided the fall in profits that businesses will experience will allow them to cover the extra overhead.

Notably, the GRFB site fails to provide any advice or communication relating to many of the risks identified in Operation Yellowhammer.  It does tell us, in point 3 of 20 that the French have built their customs infrastructure in readiness for a ‘No-deal’ which may lead to between 50-85% of HGVs crossing the channel not being ready for French customs.  It states that HGVs could be delayed by 1.5-2.5 days before being able to cross the border.  At least we’ll be well into Autumn by then, I wouldn’t want fresh produce to be sitting on the M2 wilting in the blaze of a summer sun.

Point 6 highlights that current flow rates across the channel could be as low as 40% for up to six months, stating that if unmitigated, this will have an impact on the supply of medical supplies and three-quarters of our medicines.  So what?  We’ll stockpile!  The report then states, “Whilst some products can be stockpiled, others cannot due to short shelf lives”, adding for emphasis, that it won’t be practical to stockpile to cover 6 months’ supply.  It goes on to say that we’ll also reduce our ability to prevent and control disease outbreaks, both in humans and animals.

On the upside, the report says that we may not see a shortage in food, although a No-deal Brexit will reduce availability and choice which, according to the report, “will increase price, which could impact vulnerable groups.”

In other good news, “Public water services are likely to remain largely unaffected” with the most significant risk being a failure in the chemical supply chain.  With an absence of hyperbole, the report tells us that if something goes wrong, the effect is likely to be localised and only affect up to “100,000s of people.” So, that’s alright then.

The Government chose to redact point 15 of its report, but in an earlier version leaked to The Times, the corresponding point relates to the impacts felt from UK fuel exports that might lead to the closure of two oil refineries and 2,000 direct job losses.  Subsequent strike action could result in disruptions to fuel availability for 1-2 weeks, which will add to the fuel distribution issues that the previous point in the report highlights.

Most damning of all and, ironically, the shortest point in the report is that “Low income groups will be disproportionately affected by any price rises in food and fuel.”

There’s more in the report: the potential impact on social care, fishing, the Irish border, public disorder, and EU citizenship, amongst others.  It is alarming, and it will be sensationalised by opponents of Brexit to argue the case against a ‘No-deal’.  Rightly so.  The British public was never made aware of these risks during the 2016 referendum campaign, instead fictitious weekly savings of £350 million were highlighted along with the bogus concern of wholesale Turkish immigration.  As a collective, we were woefully misinformed.

What’s astonishing is that, given the considerations in the report, the Government remains so hell-bent on pursuing its course.  Could it be that the potential bonanza that will be enjoyed by the financial elite who support the Conservatives and the Brexit Party (and who have allegedly invested £8.3 billion in shorting the UK economy) and the ‘Anti-tax Avoidance Directive’ which comes into effect on 1 January 2020, and which will deprive them and their businesses of hundreds of millions which should sit in the public purse, may be influencing its decision?

In light of the Yellowhammer report, it’s not right that Brexit should happen under ‘No-deal’, nor in my opinion, any deal.  We’ve had three years of growing awareness of the catastrophic impacts that Brexit will have on the UK’s people and its economy.  An awareness has developed through the painful process of watching our politicians fail to deliver on the promises of the sunny uplands.  With that awareness now embedded in the psyche of the populace, perhaps it’s time to return to the people with the opportunity to have a second, better informed, referendum on whether we should remain in the EU.  Unlike my feathered friend on the climb in Hampshire, if ‘Remain’ was the outcome of a second referendum, then the Government’s Yellowhammer is one that I will happily forget.

Twitter: @GOMinTraining

Copyright © Craig Brown, 2019

12 September 2019

Blowing in the wind

This week marked the 80^th anniversary of the start of the second world war.  Commemorations took place in Poland and several world leaders attended, including German Chancellor Angela Merkel, French Prime Minister Edouard Philippe, Belgian Prime Minister and President-elect of the European Council, Charles Michel, as well as leaders from Croatia, the Czech Republic, Lithuania, Slovakia, Ukraine and Hungary.  Perhaps understandably, given the issues that he is failing to contend with at home, Boris Johnson did not represent Britain, appointing in his place, the Foreign Secretary, Dominic Raab.

Also missing was Donald Trump; who sent Vice President, Mike Pence as his delegate.  Mr Trump recognised that his domestic priorities should rise to the top of his agenda, in particular, the meetings with his Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) prior to the arrival in the US of Hurricane Dorian, which at the time, was making landfall in the Bahamas where it has caused unprecedented damage and, to date, has cost the lives of 30 people, with hundreds more still missing.

Such was the importance of the meetings to Trump that he skipped out of Camp David (twice) for quick rounds of golf at the Trump National Golf Club, Washington, DC.  We know it was quick because he tweeted as such in an insult directed at Sadique Kahn (sic)[1], London’s Mayor, who dared to criticise his failure to focus fully on Dorian.  In the same Twitter tirade, he also took the opportunity to further criticise Barack Obama’s golfing expeditions, saying, “Me, I run through one of my courses (very inexpensive). President Obama would fly to Hawaii.” 

Really?

According to the website www.trumpgolfcount.com, the sole purpose of which appears to be the tracking of President Trump’s golf excursions, he has cost the US tax-payer approximately $109,000,000 for the 213 visits to golf clubs since his incumbency began.  In fairness, he may only have played golf on 149 of those occasions, so we shouldn’t be too critical, even Presidents need exercise, but according to Forbes magazine, he’s on track to cost the American public over $340 million by the end of his presidency – always assuming he’s not re-elected.  By contrast, in his eight years in office, Obama played 333 rounds.  Trump’s trajectory is between 600 and 800. 

Speaking of trajectories, it appears that Mr Trump might not have been paying too much attention to the FEMA briefing when he wasn’t golfing.  Twice in separate video briefings and once on Twitter he announced that Hurricane Dorian would be hitting Alabama.  Geography is clearly not a strong point, forecasts for the storm’s course show it moving from the Bahamas to the Florida panhandle, before tracing a course that will take it up the Eastern seaboard past Georgia and the Carolinas.  The National Weather Service (NWS) quickly tweeted a retraction.

That was on Sunday, since then Trump has taken not only to Twitter, to suggest there was substance to his messaging, but also gone to the extent of a press briefing that shows him holding a map showing the hurricane’s path.  Quite extraordinarily, the map was doctored with a black Sharpie to circle southern Alabama.  If it wasn’t so pathetic, it would be funny.  What it demonstrates is that Donald Trump is utterly unable to admit an error and he would rather spin a web of falsehoods to disprove his mistake, even if, as some commentators are suggesting, a Federal offence may have occurred by altering Hurricane Dorian's path to validate his claim.  It represents an astonishing piece of disinformation from a man who has the thinnest, thick-skin of any known human.  One wonders how many people in Alabama began making preparations to evacuate. 

Trump’s concern for Hurricane Dorian is rightly placed.  It is a category 5 storm, the highest rating on the Saffir-Simpson scale with sustained winds greater than 157 mph.  His press conference on the matter led him to state that “a Category 5 is something that I don’t know that I’ve ever even heard the term, other than I know it’s there”.  Odd really, it’s the fourth category 5 storm to hit the United States during his presidency after hurricanes Irma (2017), Maria (2017) and Michael (2018).  The clever people at Now This have compiled a much better case for demonstrating his failing memory on the subject.  They’ve also done an excellent job of demonstrating Trump’s limited use of language when describing catastrophic events, “This is a tough hurricane, one of the wettest we’ve ever seen from the standpoint of water” is just one of the pearls he delivered, there are plenty more asinine comments that undermine his boasts of a high IQ.

As a further demonstration of his ineptitude, the Axios website alleges that in a White House briefing on hurricanes, the president suggested detonating a nuclear bomb in the eye of the storm to arrest its progress.  When the naysayers pointed out that dropping a device, that releases radioactive material, into the world’s most effective dispersal system, might not be his cleverest suggestion, Trump resorted to his modus operandi for denial by stating on Twitter that, “The story [was] … Just more FAKE NEWS!”.  I would like to think that, on this occasion, even he couldn’t be as profoundly stupid as the report suggested and that he has been the victim of a nasty sleight.  Perhaps if he had a reputation for honesty and integrity, I’d be prepared to accept his denial.

Reflecting on my opening point, his behaviour displays enormous contempt for the victims of World War II by fobbing-off his Polish hosts with excuses that will enable him to play golf, but equally, to the American people, by being unable to focus on a potential natural disaster that has caused widespread destruction and heart-breaking loss of life in the Bahamas.

People’s lives matter. 

I don’t begrudge his desire to play a round of golf, but the timing is wholly inappropriate in the face of such a catastrophe.  His ineptitude and disinterest are a danger to his nation.  When Puerto Rico, a US territory, was hit in 2017 by Maria, one of his ‘forgotten’ hurricanes, Donald Trump’s response was glacially slow and totally inadequate.  One of the most profound images of that time showed him contemptuously throwing rolls of kitchen paper out to the Puerto Ricans before him who may have hoped for something a little more useful for managing the disaster, such as the resources to restore power, water and sanitation, rather than a roll of ultra absorbant towel.  Congress authorised $20 billion of recovery funds for national disasters, a fraction of which has been released to Puerto Rico and Trump has now ordered $3.6 billion of those funds, and others allocated to military projects, to be diverted to the building of his wall on the Mexican border.  Worse still, he has tied the further release of funds to efforts to reform the government in Puerto Rico and crackdown on corruption – he doesn’t care for the Puerto Rican people, he’s holding them hostage.

It is fortunate that the agencies within the United States charged with managing preparedness and relief take their responsibility more seriously and exercise more competence, but, as Puerto Rico has demonstrated, they need resources to be effective.  Trump’s lack of understanding, awareness and his disregard for the well-being of others hampers their efforts.  So too does the management of his image, which rather than doing anything to restore his credibility, serves only to highlight that the US people are led by a man who is so self-centred that he cares not a jot for the country that he wishes to make great again.

Twitter: @GOMinTraining
Copyright © Craig Brown, 2019
6 September 2019

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[1] He later deleted the original tweet and repeated the insults with the correct spelling of Sadiq Khan, but only once – the second mention of ‘Kahn’ followed a few lines later.