It's not just on the pitch he doesn't work...

Having been a tad critical of the boy Balotelli in my recent letter to the lad, I was a touched surprised to find a response sitting on my doorstep a few days ago.

I needn't have been.  The chap's so lazy that he failed to:

     a) Use my address
     b) Add a date
     c) Personalise the salutation
     d) Write the letter himself

Presumably the club didn't want to wake him from his nap, or perhaps, as he so frequently does during a game, he was hiding.